I guess I am like every other self-involved jabroni now that I’ve decided to create a website and add some blog posts. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling like whatever rattles around my brain all day is so damn interesting and important that the world needs to hear about it. Oh man I already know this exercise in severe egotism will not be good for me. I mean, seriously people, I bought my name as a domain. Like I actually spent real money to have my name as a website.

Totally worth it.

I don’t want to share this on Facebook like some people do and stick the fact I have a blog right in everyone’s face. I feel strongly about that. Instead, this is going to be a grassroots blog that people will stumble upon when they are trawling the deepest, most inane corners of the internet and realize it is the work of a genius. They will then tell all their friends about it, and this humble little blog will spread faster than the coronavirus until it is the most famous blog in the whole freaking country. I honestly can’t imagine a single person who won’t want to hear #ElliottThoughts. Then I’ll sell a ton of ad space, just absolutely pollute this site with pop ups, and become mega rich.

Either that or I’ll post a few things until I’m distracted by something else new and shiny. Buckle in folks! This will be great.